Dogs vs. Toddlers

I love dogs. Brice loves dogs even more. One day we will have a family pet but for now one wild thing in the house is enough. As I was changing a diaper at 10:30 last night I had some pretty funny thoughts going through my head. Those thoughts lead me to, which is easier: a dog or a toddler?

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Food. Dog:  They get beyond excited to get fed a bowl of the same food every single day. Want to make them the happiest thing alive? Give them anything considered people food. Toddler: They will absolutely love one food on Monday and then hate it on Tuesday. Try giving them something do not want to eat and wait and see how well that turns out.  Dog wins.

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Cleanliness. Dog: They shed and they don’t discriminate as to where. On the floor, on the couch, in the car their hair gets everywhere. Dogs also do not know how to wipe their feet or remove any dirty from their bodies before entering the house and depositing it everywhere. Plus they like their own butts, yuck. Toddler: This can be just as bad. Our house often looks like a tornado has passed through because while we’re cleaning one room the wild man is in the next room causing destruction. The crayon stays on the paper? The plant soil doesn’t go in my mouth? The shampoo is supposed to stay in the bottle? Toilet paper is supposed to stay on the roll? At least he doesn’t shed.  This one is too close to call.

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Cleaning after meals. Dogs: No cleaning required. Those things usually lick the bowl clean and scarf down any loose pieces that may have escaped. They’ll even clean up what you dropped. Toddlers: There is pretty much no point in trying to keep the floor clean. In order to keep things clean while Brice is eating he needs to wear no clothes, a hair net, and have a drop cloth under his high chair. Dog wins.

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Laundry. Dog: They don’t need clothes, that’s why they are furry. Okay, a dog in a sweater can be cute but you aren’t going to wash that thing every day and they don’t need many.  Toddler: See above comparisons regarding cleanliness.  How can clothing so small turn into such big piles? Dog wins.

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Bath time. Dogs: I’ve never met a dog that runs to the bath tub when you say it’s time for a bath. Again, all that hair. Plus there is that shaking thing again where they get a 5 foot radius soaked. Toddler: Goes running towards the tub when I say the magically B word. Proceeds to splash around for 30 minutes and then cries when I say bath time is done. Toddler wins.

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Leaving them. Dogs: it is 100% acceptable to put your dog in a crate while you are away from the house, or even let them run free in the house or backyard.  Want a date night? Easy, put your dog in their crate and say see ya later. Need a little quiet time? Put the dog in the backyard for a little while. Weekend away? Find a friend to stop by and make sure your dog has food/water and is okay. Toddler: find a babysitter that you trust and is available and spend twice as much money as you normally would on a date night.  Or coordinate with family a weekend that they don’t have plans and arrange for them to watch toddler. Last I checked doing anything you would to a dog while leaving is frowned upon with a toddler. Dog wins.

Getting them in the first place. Dog: Decide what kind you want then either find that type of dog or even better is to go down to your local shelter and adopt! You get to know what they look like, act like, and how big they are going to be before you even leave the premises. Toddler: 40 long weeks of doctor’s appointments, restless nights, heart burn, morning sickness, weight gain, clothes not fitting and you have no idea what they will look like, act like, or how big they will be. I won’t even get in to the whole labor and delivery aspect. Dog wins.

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Poop. Don’t act like you didn’t know this one was coming. It was a late night diaper change that sparked this whole thought process. Dog: Let them outside and they do their business. If they go #2 you do have to clean it up or you risk stepping in it and no one likes a crappy surprise. This will continue for the life of the dog. Toddler: Diapers and wipes become part of your life. You never know what type of surprise you are going to get when you lay the toddler down to change a diaper. Then they start to realize that they themselves can take off said diaper. They will grow out of diapers, or so you hope. When you’re talking about poop, no one wins.

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The score on paper: Dog 4- Tie 2- Toddler 1

No matter how picky, messy, painful, and poopy a toddler is one little monkey will always win for me.  Cleaning up after him may get tiresome but seeing how excited he gets when he puts something in the right place will never get old.  Watching him eat and figure out how to use a spoon may be messy but I love to watch him learn.  Getting him here may have been a long painful process but feeling those little kicks and then seeing that sweet face for the first time will always be worth it. Getting a hug and a kiss from this sweet face wipes away all the messes of life.

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Kids vs. Pets – how do they impact you?

Which one and how many do you have? Both?

 

5 responses to “Dogs vs. Toddlers

  1. Wait…. kids aren’t supposed to go in crates when you leave the house????
    This is hilarious. Alex and I will be starting to work on a family in a year or so, and we would love a dog, but we knew we couldn’t do either while he was in residency and I was trying to work (could train them, etc. Also apartment doesn’t allow dogs, but I THINK it allows kids, lol). So we got the Zoester, and she is our child for the time being. Hey, it is a step up from our stuffed animal children (Mr. Pig, Lippi, Winston, Nuts, and Bubbles). We’re getting there….

    • When I was pregnant Colin and I bought a plant to make sure we could keep something alive. It died within a few weeks of Brice being born which proved to me I can only keep one thing alive at a time. Keeping any animal alive is a step above me! 🙂

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